Matt James may have spoiled all of Bachelor Nation for Rachael Kirkconnell.

The Bachelor season 25 winner, who was in a relationship with the season star since the 2021 finale until their breakup in January, says she “definitely [thinks] it was still out of nowhere.” Kirkconnell told Us Weekly she’s still “pretty sad” about the breakup because it “didn’t have to go down the way it did.”

After James’ decision to end the relationship hours before a surprise Instagram announcement in mid-January, Kirkconnell says, “I don’t know if I’m able to date someone within the franchise again. I don’t know if I can do that again… Listen, I’m never going to totally shut the door on anything. That’s not me, but I also feel like it’s pretty soon and I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

Kirkconnell and James met while filming season 25 of The Bachelor in 2020. Their season generated plenty of controversy, much of it stemming from James’ treatment as the franchise’s first Black male season lead. Kirkconnell apologized after photos of her wearing a racist costume and attending an antebellum plantation-themed college event resurfaced, and former host Chris Harrison apologized for defending her.

James called the series of events “incredibly disappointing,” proclaiming it was “a clear reflection of a much larger issue that The Bachelor franchise has fallen short on addressing adequately for years.” The North Carolina native ended up choosing Kirkconnell during the finale, though declined the customary proposal.

Reflecting on the demise of the relationship, Kirkconnell shared, “It’s just sad to look back on now — four years later, that’s how things went out… It’s something to not dwell on, but something that I wonder if I’ll always be a little bummed out about.”

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Kirkconnell first opened up about her breakup with James in an interview with Alex Cooper on Jan. 28. “Everything was fine the night before, we didn’t have an argument, but I was feeling very overwhelmed,” she said of the days before the breakup, which took place on a trip to Japan.

After noticing that James was acting sullen, Kirkconnell asked James what he was feeling, which led to an outpouring of doubts and regrets. “He said that at the end of the day, there were just qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife,” she remembered, adding that James said he “‘can’t actually see myself married to you.'”

Kirkconnell told US Weekly that in the aftermath of the split, “Having someone that supports you and uplifts you the same way you do them is a non-negotiable from here on out.”

Kirkconnell has declined to state whether she would be interested in starring on Bachelor in Paradise, a spinoff series which brings alums of past seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette back for more reality dating drama in a secluded tropical locale. Longtime Bachelor in Paradise bartender Wells Adams (who co-hosted the seventh season with Harrison) said in February that he thinks “Matt needs to come” and “Rachael needs to come,” but neither star has indicated their interest.

The tenth season of Bachelor in Paradise is slated to premiere this year.