Kendra Wilkinson has mixed feelings about her time at the Playboy Mansion — but she doesn’t regret it.

The Girls Next Door star recently reflected on moving into Hugh Hefner’s home when she was 18 and working on multiple reality shows at the beginning of her career.

“I was a horrible teenager,” she said in a new interview with the I Do, Part 2 podcast. “I was a runaway. I sold cocaine at the age of 15. I never really had a stable life.”

She continued, “And so I went looking for the wrong things. I went looking for dark things. I went looking for fun. And I’m not saying that everything I did was dark and wrong. I’m saying that it was easy to take that one-way ticket to L.A. into the Playboy Mansion — how vulnerable I was.”

Still, Wilkinson felt stable and protected during her stay there. “I can honestly look back and say that I was safer at the Playboy Mansion than I was at 15 years old dealing drugs,” she said. “So in that case, I was safe. I was in a safe environment. I was healthy, eating salads every day, working out every day, no drugs every day.”

Wilkinson also recognizes that the Playboy culture had a lasting impact on her. “Was I sexualized? Absolutely,” she said. “Did that cause me problems later in life? Absolutely. So, you know, choices — there are consequences for every choice you make.”

She elaborated, “I struggle still to this day with my relationships and my views on sex. And I had to go through a lot of therapy… and they looked at me and they’re like — this is the first time I’m admitting this — but they’re like, ‘You might have, like, a little bit of a sex problem. Like, you have a little bit of a problem when it comes to thinking of sex.'”

When asked what kind of “sex problem” she meant, Wilkinson said, “Just unhealthy thoughts — just, like, not really settling for a marriage and stuff like that.”

Wilkinson later added that she thinks she moved out of Hefner’s home at the right time. “I left the Playboy Mansion at age 23, got pregnant, got married at the age of 23, then started my life as a wife and a mother,” she said. “And it was the golden years of my life. And, you know, I went from the Playboy Mansion, all of a sudden, to like this marriage life in a blink of an eye. And it was the right timing, you know. I found myself just, you know, so bored at the Playboy Mansion. I was just like, ‘I’m ready to leave this place. I’m ready to start a family.'”

When comparing the burden of starring on a television series to her Playboy days, she said the former felt far more traumatic than the latter. “A lot of people focus a lot on like, ‘Oh, you did Playboy, Playboy, Playboy,’ but no one really focuses on what it took to actually shoot a reality TV show and what it does,” she explained. “And it took every ounce of my soul. Like, that’s why they call it, ‘Sell the soul [to] the devil.’ I sold my soul to the goddamn devil.”

She continued, “I have a lot of regrets when it comes to that. I don’t have regrets with Playboy and all that, but I have regrets on where things went with show business.”

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Listen to Wilkinson’s full interview above.